An engagement ring is probably the only piece of jewelry you buy with fear. Fear of choosing the wrong size, style, stone, or everything. And that fear gives rise to most bad decisions: buying what's in the shop window because it seems like the safe option.
It isn't. I'll tell you how to choose it, decision by decision, and why having it custom-made is less risky than you think.
Why custom-made and not from a catalog
A thousand other people wear a catalog ring. That might not matter with earrings; with an engagement ring, which is literally a symbol that this relationship is this one and not another, it feels wrong.
But there's a more practical reason: custom-made doesn't mean more expensive. It means you decide where the money goes. In a store, you also pay the middleman's margin, the shop window, and the stock. Here, you pay for the gold, the stone, the design, and the hands that make it. With the same budget, you can almost always get a better stone. I explain each cost in what goes into the price of a custom-made piece of jewelry.
And there's a third: if you have family jewelry, the gold and stones come into the equation. I've made engagement rings with a grandmother's diamond reset in a modern design. It's hard to beat that in symbolic value.
The stone: the decision that matters most
This is where most of the budget goes and where you have the greatest chance to get it right or wrong.
Diamond or not?
Diamond is the convention, not the obligation. A blue sapphire, a ruby, or an emerald say exactly the same thing, and often say more about the person wearing it. If the person who will wear it never wears anything clear and everything they own has color, the message sent by a colorless solitaire is "I don't know you".
Natural or lab-grown diamond
Lab-grown diamonds are diamonds: same composition, same hardness, same sparkle. The difference is the origin and the price. With the same money, you can get a much larger and cleaner lab-grown diamond, or a smaller natural one.
There is no right answer. There is one question: for the person who will wear it, does it matter that the stone is millions of years old, or does it matter how it looks? Both answers are valid, and I've made beautiful rings with both.
What to look for in the stone
- Color. In a diamond, how far it is from colorless. In a colored stone, the intensity and the tone: this is the number one factor in price, far above size.
- Clarity. If it has inclusions and if they are visible to the naked eye. Many inclusions are invisible without a magnifying glass and lower the price significantly. That's where smart bargaining comes in.
- Cut. This is what gives a stone life. A mediocre cut dulls an excellent diamond. I don't compromise on it.
- Weight. Last on the list, even though it's what everyone asks about first.
The gold
Yellow, white, or rose. And this isn't a matter of fashion, but of what makes the stone stand out.
I usually match the color of the gold to the stones and the effect I'm looking for. White gold disappears under a diamond and lets it take all the spotlight. Yellow gold warms the stone and gives it a warmer feel. Rose gold softens it. With colored stones, the choice is even more decisive: the same sapphire looks like two different sapphires in yellow or white gold.
The practical thing: look at what they wear every day. If everything they own is yellow, a white ring will end up in the jewelry box.
The setting
Prongs elevate the stone and let more light through: more sparkle, more presence. A bezel embraces and protects it: more discreet, more resistant, better if they work with their hands. There are many more options, and I decide this by looking at the actual stone.
The finger size (the classic problem)
If it's a surprise, you won't be able to measure it. Tricks that work: take a ring that fits that finger and bring it to me, or borrow one of their rings for a while. If there's no way, I'll make it in an estimated size and adjust it later: almost all designs can be resized, and I take this into account from the sketch.
Timelines
It depends on the design and whether a specific stone needs to be sourced; during our first conversation, I'll give you a realistic timeline. If you have a date in mind, start earlier than you think is reasonable.
Getting started
Write to me and we'll talk. Whether you come with a very clear idea or none at all. The only thing I need to know at the beginning is what the person who will wear it is like and what budget you have in mind. I'll take care of the rest. If you want to know what happens next, I'll tell you in the process of a custom-made piece of jewelry.
If you want to see how I work with engagement rings and wedding bands, look at my jewelry for weddings.